就好像拖延是因为要么完美要么算了吧：Forced into a challenge we're not prepared for, we often engage 'self-handicapping': deliberately doing things that set us up for failure. Work only begins, when the fear of doing nothing exceeds the fear of doing it badly.
因为从小教育系统的一遍遍训练强化：做错的时候，就该感到沮丧。
School trains us to get frustrated when we fail.
In most schools, the major structural element is ranking. We're wired to take ranking seriously. As soon as ranking exists, we care about it. A, B, C, D, F. Pass/Fail. And in the worst-case-scenario, you fail and are "kept back a grade," which affects you socially.
I have many memories of teachers compounding the problem. They didn't say, "How interesting: you got an F. Let's examine the situation and see how that happened..." Instead, Fs came with stern lectures. When we got Fs, teachers (and parents) were verydisappointed in us.
(And I've never heard a teacher say, "Oh dear. You've gotten four As in a row. I must not be challenging you enough. Let's see if we can push you to failure so that you can overcome it." Personal trainers understand how vital that is. They wouldn't let you keep lifting weights that didn't strain your muscles. Many schoolteachers either don’t understand this or work in environments that don't allow it.)
They didn't tell us that failure was a natural part of the learning process. They told us we had let them and ourselves down. Over and over, for years, we were told that if we got Fs, it was because we were lazy or stupid. Laziness is a moral failing; stupidity is an innate deficit. Failure—school tells us—means we're moral and physical cripples.
People (understandably) hate this so much, that, as soon as they can, they put themselves in a position where they never have to fail again. (Or where their chances of failing are as small as possible.) They find jobs that aren't all that challenging after an initial learning curve. The goal, conscious or not, is to coast for the rest of one's life.
没有评论:
发表评论